Faith: A Flower At His Feet
Om Sai Ram
I am thrilled to share the news that an excerpt from my book Sai Rapture, The Ecstatic Journey of a Modern Day Gopi has been included in the final print copy of the Sathya Sai Newsletter, USA, Vol 36, No 6. Nov/Dec 2012, page 21. The Newsletter will continue in an online format. Thank you beloved Swami, You are so wonderful!
The following is a copy of this page:
FAITH: A FLOWER AT HIS FEET
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” -Hebrews 11:1
Swami is our unfailing support and anchor in life. With Baba's grace all things are possible. In 2003, I had just returned from a six month stay at Sathya Sai Baba's ashram in Puttaparthi India. Although my ex-husband and I had divorced in 2001, there were still many financial ties between us that needed to be resolved. Until my return from India, I had been too emotionally upset to face these challenges clearly. My stay with Baba gave me the courage and strength that I needed to begin picking up the pieces of my life.
After the 2003 sojourn, I went directly to Florida where my parents lived. From there I started to address the financial baggage that had to be settled between my ex-husband and myself. First, we owned a house in common and property in Arkansas. Also, he was still in the house, and we had a joint checking account, as well as a lot of credit cards. It was really a terrible mess, but something that had to be faced and straightened out. I stayed with my parents for six months.
During that time, I began looking for a lot in Palm Bay to build a home on. The prices of lots were astronomical and climbing daily. I kept searching and couldn't find anything remotely reasonable. At one point I said to Swami, “Well, maybe you don't want me to live here,” and surrendered my search.
Shortly after that inner conversation, a lot across from my parents' house sprang up for sale. It was a cleared quarter- acre lot. I immediately called the owner and we arranged to meet. He wanted to sell the lot for $11,500 — unheard of in this area; as most uncleared lots were selling for $18,000 - $20,000! I jumped on it, and using a small personal savings, was able to purchase the lot. My sister and her family encouraged me to look for builders. I found a good local builder and set about making plans to have my new home built. Meanwhile, the marital residence in Arkansas needed to be repaired and sold. I took a trip there to finish that business.
My ex-husband had always handled our bills and finances. When I started looking at the credit records, I realized that we were in enormous credit card debt. I discussed this with him, and he said he couldn't help financially with any of this shared debt, because he had accumulated his own personal debt. So since I was the primary credit card signer, it was all on me (and Baba).
I had another inner conversation with Sai. Laughing, I said, “Swami, well if I'm going to the poor house, it's all right as long as you are with me!”
Not too long after this spiritual conversation, I received notification that a dear friend of mine from New York had passed away leaving me a good sum of money. I went to NY and conducted his funeral arrangements. The inheritance I received was enough to pay off half the joint debt, freeing me to get my finances in better order. The only thing left was to sell the house in Arkansas.
Meanwhile, construction work on my new house in Florida was scheduled to begin, although there were a lot of delays due to building permits, etc. The Arkansas house was on the market but weeks went by with no offers.
Then in June 2004, Swami came to me in an exceptional and revealing dream. My ex-husband and I were with Swami. Swami was answering our questions. My ex kept complaining that nothing was working out for him; he was going through hard times and couldn't understand why. He said to Sai, “I am totally focused on God, loving and serving, and I haven't caused pain to anyone.” Swami looked at me and said, “No unseen pain.” I replied, “Yes Swami he has caused me a lot of emotional pain.” Then Swami turned his attention on me. He talked affectionately to me about a lot of things. I can't remember all the details.
I remember He placed his hands over my eyes and said, “Look, I am going to give you a whole new house, and a whole new life.” I could see a vision of a house and a partial view of the inside of the house. I laid my head on Swami's holy chest saying repeatedly how much I loved Him. He clasped me close and whispered in my ears, over and over...“If you Love Me Say My Name ...” I responded bubbling with ecstasy, but the words were peculiarly difficult to pronounce. With great effort I exclaimed, “Om Sai Ram! Om Sai Ram!” When I awoke, I felt as if I had been transported to the highest heavens. I felt reassured that the house would sell. But the testing wasn't quite over yet.
Due to summer hurricanes, work on the Florida house was delayed and not completed for five more months, until November 2004. At the end of October, the Arkansas house still was not sold. I went to visit a friend in North Carolina and remember walking downtown, feeling very concerned. “Swami,” I said earnestly, “You told me you would give me a new home, I just need to have total faith!” Shortly after this inner conversation, I saw a little gift shop and felt drawn to go in. An Indian sales lady approached me trying to get me to buy some dresses. I told her that I had plenty of clothing from a trip to India and really didn't need anymore. She asked, “Where did you go in India?” When I mentioned Sai Baba's Ashram, she screamed, “Sai Ram!” and grabbed me, hugging me excitedly. As you can tell she was also was a Sai devotee.
I felt this was a good omen and that something really blessed was coming.
Sure enough, that same day, I received a call from my realtor in Arkansas. An offer had been made on the house, and the buyer wanted to close in three weeks on — November 23, Sai Baba's Birthday! My house under construction in Florida was scheduled to close on the 22nd of November, but I was able to delay its closing until the 29th. The house in Arkansas did sell on November 23, 2004. Needless to say, Swami made good on His promise. God is so great!
Keep your faith firm, irrespective of whether your desires are fulfilled. Preserve your faith carefully. Faith can work wonders. It can make a blind person see; a dumb speak. Do not at all doubt the power of faith. Some incidents happening in this world may shake your faith in God. But, if you hold on to your faith firmly you can boldly face any situation. — Sri Sathya Sai Baba, SSS17:13, May 20, 1984
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I am thrilled to share the news that an excerpt from my book Sai Rapture, The Ecstatic Journey of a Modern Day Gopi has been included in the final print copy of the Sathya Sai Newsletter, USA, Vol 36, No 6. Nov/Dec 2012, page 21. The Newsletter will continue in an online format. Thank you beloved Swami, You are so wonderful!
The following is a copy of this page:
FAITH: A FLOWER AT HIS FEET
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” -Hebrews 11:1
Swami is our unfailing support and anchor in life. With Baba's grace all things are possible. In 2003, I had just returned from a six month stay at Sathya Sai Baba's ashram in Puttaparthi India. Although my ex-husband and I had divorced in 2001, there were still many financial ties between us that needed to be resolved. Until my return from India, I had been too emotionally upset to face these challenges clearly. My stay with Baba gave me the courage and strength that I needed to begin picking up the pieces of my life.
After the 2003 sojourn, I went directly to Florida where my parents lived. From there I started to address the financial baggage that had to be settled between my ex-husband and myself. First, we owned a house in common and property in Arkansas. Also, he was still in the house, and we had a joint checking account, as well as a lot of credit cards. It was really a terrible mess, but something that had to be faced and straightened out. I stayed with my parents for six months.
During that time, I began looking for a lot in Palm Bay to build a home on. The prices of lots were astronomical and climbing daily. I kept searching and couldn't find anything remotely reasonable. At one point I said to Swami, “Well, maybe you don't want me to live here,” and surrendered my search.
Shortly after that inner conversation, a lot across from my parents' house sprang up for sale. It was a cleared quarter- acre lot. I immediately called the owner and we arranged to meet. He wanted to sell the lot for $11,500 — unheard of in this area; as most uncleared lots were selling for $18,000 - $20,000! I jumped on it, and using a small personal savings, was able to purchase the lot. My sister and her family encouraged me to look for builders. I found a good local builder and set about making plans to have my new home built. Meanwhile, the marital residence in Arkansas needed to be repaired and sold. I took a trip there to finish that business.
My ex-husband had always handled our bills and finances. When I started looking at the credit records, I realized that we were in enormous credit card debt. I discussed this with him, and he said he couldn't help financially with any of this shared debt, because he had accumulated his own personal debt. So since I was the primary credit card signer, it was all on me (and Baba).
I had another inner conversation with Sai. Laughing, I said, “Swami, well if I'm going to the poor house, it's all right as long as you are with me!”
Not too long after this spiritual conversation, I received notification that a dear friend of mine from New York had passed away leaving me a good sum of money. I went to NY and conducted his funeral arrangements. The inheritance I received was enough to pay off half the joint debt, freeing me to get my finances in better order. The only thing left was to sell the house in Arkansas.
Meanwhile, construction work on my new house in Florida was scheduled to begin, although there were a lot of delays due to building permits, etc. The Arkansas house was on the market but weeks went by with no offers.
Then in June 2004, Swami came to me in an exceptional and revealing dream. My ex-husband and I were with Swami. Swami was answering our questions. My ex kept complaining that nothing was working out for him; he was going through hard times and couldn't understand why. He said to Sai, “I am totally focused on God, loving and serving, and I haven't caused pain to anyone.” Swami looked at me and said, “No unseen pain.” I replied, “Yes Swami he has caused me a lot of emotional pain.” Then Swami turned his attention on me. He talked affectionately to me about a lot of things. I can't remember all the details.
I remember He placed his hands over my eyes and said, “Look, I am going to give you a whole new house, and a whole new life.” I could see a vision of a house and a partial view of the inside of the house. I laid my head on Swami's holy chest saying repeatedly how much I loved Him. He clasped me close and whispered in my ears, over and over...“If you Love Me Say My Name ...” I responded bubbling with ecstasy, but the words were peculiarly difficult to pronounce. With great effort I exclaimed, “Om Sai Ram! Om Sai Ram!” When I awoke, I felt as if I had been transported to the highest heavens. I felt reassured that the house would sell. But the testing wasn't quite over yet.
Due to summer hurricanes, work on the Florida house was delayed and not completed for five more months, until November 2004. At the end of October, the Arkansas house still was not sold. I went to visit a friend in North Carolina and remember walking downtown, feeling very concerned. “Swami,” I said earnestly, “You told me you would give me a new home, I just need to have total faith!” Shortly after this inner conversation, I saw a little gift shop and felt drawn to go in. An Indian sales lady approached me trying to get me to buy some dresses. I told her that I had plenty of clothing from a trip to India and really didn't need anymore. She asked, “Where did you go in India?” When I mentioned Sai Baba's Ashram, she screamed, “Sai Ram!” and grabbed me, hugging me excitedly. As you can tell she was also was a Sai devotee.
I felt this was a good omen and that something really blessed was coming.
Sure enough, that same day, I received a call from my realtor in Arkansas. An offer had been made on the house, and the buyer wanted to close in three weeks on — November 23, Sai Baba's Birthday! My house under construction in Florida was scheduled to close on the 22nd of November, but I was able to delay its closing until the 29th. The house in Arkansas did sell on November 23, 2004. Needless to say, Swami made good on His promise. God is so great!
Keep your faith firm, irrespective of whether your desires are fulfilled. Preserve your faith carefully. Faith can work wonders. It can make a blind person see; a dumb speak. Do not at all doubt the power of faith. Some incidents happening in this world may shake your faith in God. But, if you hold on to your faith firmly you can boldly face any situation. — Sri Sathya Sai Baba, SSS17:13, May 20, 1984
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